drmiler's Articles In Humor
June 15, 2007 by drmiler
AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!!
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier. ...
June 15, 2007 by drmiler
AAADD- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!!
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier. ...
January 28, 2006 by drmiler
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out
with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a
broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still
cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with
the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on
your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having
the balls to say, "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.
January 28, 2006 by drmiler
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out
with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a
broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still
cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with
the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on
your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having
the balls to say, "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.
January 17, 2006 by drmiler
This is a pass on from my wife. I thought it too good not to share. The #1 reason is real funny!

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some peo...
January 17, 2006 by drmiler
This is a pass on from my wife. I thought it too good not to share. The #1 reason is real funny!

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some peo...
January 14, 2006 by drmiler
Okay guys this one is basically for you. This was forwarded to me by my wife. I have no idea where it originated!

AUSSIE INGENUITY

Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower
and slipped over on the
bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards
or backwards, she slipped,
did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce"
she yelled. Bruce came
running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to...
January 14, 2006 by drmiler
Okay guys this one is basically for you. This was forwarded to me by my wife. I have no idea where it originated!

AUSSIE INGENUITY

Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower
and slipped over on the
bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards
or backwards, she slipped,
did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce"
she yelled. Bruce came
running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
COWS


Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing
that our government can track a cow born in Canada
almost three years ago, right to the stall where she
sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked
her calves to
their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million
illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we
should give them all a cow.


CONSTITUTION


They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for
Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was w...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
COWS


Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing
that our government can track a cow born in Canada
almost three years ago, right to the stall where she
sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked
her calves to
their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million
illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we
should give them all a cow.


CONSTITUTION


They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for
Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was w...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
Due to hurricane Katrina, the floodwaters in New Orleans, came up about 6
feet into most of the homes. Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with
her neighbor, Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come.

Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap floating near the house. Then she
saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back to the house; it
kept floating away from the house, then back towards house. Her curiosity
got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do yo...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
Due to hurricane Katrina, the floodwaters in New Orleans, came up about 6
feet into most of the homes. Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with
her neighbor, Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come.

Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap floating near the house. Then she
saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back to the house; it
kept floating away from the house, then back towards house. Her curiosity
got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do yo...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
Not politically correct but funny
Tennessee Drinking Rule.....

A Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glasses so cheap we don't need to drink from the same glass twice."



An Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't ...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
Not politically correct but funny
Tennessee Drinking Rule.....

A Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glasses so cheap we don't need to drink from the same glass twice."



An Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't ...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this
may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from
the days when Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever,
not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the
host asking the questions, of course.




1. Q. Do female frogs croak?


A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
enough.

2. Q. If you're go...