drmiler's Articles In Humor » Page 2
January 14, 2006 by drmiler
Okay guys this one is basically for you. This was forwarded to me by my wife. I have no idea where it originated!

AUSSIE INGENUITY

Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower
and slipped over on the
bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards
or backwards, she slipped,
did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce"
she yelled. Bruce came
running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to...
January 14, 2006 by drmiler
Okay guys this one is basically for you. This was forwarded to me by my wife. I have no idea where it originated!

AUSSIE INGENUITY

Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower
and slipped over on the
bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards
or backwards, she slipped,
did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce"
she yelled. Bruce came
running in. "Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
COWS


Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing
that our government can track a cow born in Canada
almost three years ago, right to the stall where she
sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked
her calves to
their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million
illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we
should give them all a cow.


CONSTITUTION


They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for
Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was w...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
COWS


Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing
that our government can track a cow born in Canada
almost three years ago, right to the stall where she
sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked
her calves to
their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million
illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we
should give them all a cow.


CONSTITUTION


They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for
Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was w...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
Due to hurricane Katrina, the floodwaters in New Orleans, came up about 6
feet into most of the homes. Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with
her neighbor, Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come.

Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap floating near the house. Then she
saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back to the house; it
kept floating away from the house, then back towards house. Her curiosity
got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do yo...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
Due to hurricane Katrina, the floodwaters in New Orleans, came up about 6
feet into most of the homes. Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with
her neighbor, Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come.

Mrs. Thibodeaux noticed a baseball cap floating near the house. Then she
saw it float far out into the front yard, then float back to the house; it
kept floating away from the house, then back towards house. Her curiosity
got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do yo...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
Not politically correct but funny
Tennessee Drinking Rule.....

A Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glasses so cheap we don't need to drink from the same glass twice."



An Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't ...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
Not politically correct but funny
Tennessee Drinking Rule.....

A Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glasses so cheap we don't need to drink from the same glass twice."



An Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't ...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this
may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from
the days when Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever,
not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the
host asking the questions, of course.




1. Q. Do female frogs croak?


A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
enough.

2. Q. If you're go...
October 20, 2005 by drmiler
If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this
may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from
the days when Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever,
not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the
host asking the questions, of course.




1. Q. Do female frogs croak?


A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
enough.

2. Q. If you're go...
October 1, 2005 by drmiler
Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to Conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together And should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts an...
October 1, 2005 by drmiler
Many of us "Old Folks" (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to Conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together And should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts an...
June 9, 2005 by drmiler
Thought you might enjoy this laugh

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello,

and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this.

For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please

read on... for those who don't, you are too young anyway.




If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous

sketch, "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this:



COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM A...
June 9, 2005 by drmiler
Thought you might enjoy this laugh

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello,

and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this.

For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please

read on... for those who don't, you are too young anyway.




If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous

sketch, "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this:



COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM A...
November 16, 2004 by drmiler
This was just passed on to me. I found it extremely funny. So I thought I would share.

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new ...